Weddings and things

Two of my mates from uni, Andi and Sarah, are getting married in September. Best of luck to the two of them, and I'm already planing the kilt!
When I think about it there's quite a few of the guys from Swansea and before are hitched, Tash and Chris (T and C from earlier posts, I can't be arsed any more with the initial things), Sian and Matt, Jules and David, amongst others, and more are engaged, for example Ria and Richie and Alice and her gent. And much love and the best of luck to them all.
Now, don't think for one minute that I'm getting (as my sister-in-law would say) broody.
I wasn't broody at their wedding (I was busy, either being best man or chatting to the guests), I wasn't while holding my niece (the look wasn't longing, it was fear that the sprog would puke/crap/jump out of my arms and smack head-first into the ground. I know, unlikely, but I don't handle small children as a matter of course) and I'm not while I plan how many of my friends are hitched/deeply involved. Now, what I was wondering is this, is there a guaranteed wedding present? I can't always do whisky because some of my friends are allergic to alcohol, so it could be shortbread and tartan dishcloths all round.
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On another topic....
There's a signature on a forum I sometimes visit that I think says it all:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways Chardonnay[prefer whisky or champagne] in one hand - chocolate[cigar/other] in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride"
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And the final bit, a little rant.
What's happened to the words "twice" "people" and "the/of" ?
I keep screaming at the TV when someone says "two times" rather than the wonderful "twice" or "two persons," when I'm still rather sure that the plural is people. "The" in this case is with regards to dates, at least when used by British. For example, "Sunday the sixth of March," instead of "Sunday, sixth March."
Meh, I'll stop now.
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Okay, one more thing, anyone remember when Tesco only sold food? I've bought a sofa, toaster, vacuum and, today, a fridge.
(And Pam, I took the Star Trek test, apparently I'm equally Jordi, Capt Picard and Worf. Get in!)